The Pasture Pilot’s Log

So yesterday, I was in Xena (XNA, otherwise known as Northwest Arkansas Regional). And sitting is about all I did, too. We rode in the back of a Pinnacle Airlines flight out there, and were to pick up a plane from maintenance for a return to Atlanta.  

Long story short, everything didn’t go smoothly for the mechanics. They headed to the hotel to shower off and cool down while the parts made their way from Atlanta and Cincy. We waited, and a huge thunderstorm held Atlanta in a chokehold - our entire system was clogged with airplanes diverting all over the place. Roomates and friends called to check in from Tallahassee, Gulfport and elsewhere.

The delay stretched and we settled in for the long haul.  Mike, my captain, pulled out the most recent Jeppesen approach plate revision and started on that. I began organizing my MP3 library on the laptop. People floated through the ops lounge. We shifted to another room after a couple of hours, this time to an area behind the ticket counter.  <p>The door opened and two girls came in; one walking, the other in a wheelchair. Their escort had a barbie mermaid sticking out of his shirt pocket - he was doing his best to keep the girls encouraged. They were what we call unaccompanied minors, or children traveling alone. The theory is that they’re accompanied to the gate, and met at the gate? “What could go wrong honey? You’re on a jet!”  

What DID happen to their jet to Atlanta (ironically, the same one supposed to bring our parts back) is that it never left the tarmac - affected by the ground stop that had all my friends stranded. The girls did a pretty good job of entertaining themselves.  But they needed a dummy for a prank. They kept giggling each time one pulled out a box of jellybeans. The ramp workers passed on the candy, as did the customer service agents and my captain.

Against my better judgement, I played into their prank.  Jellybean number one was black. I bit into it. Licorice - no surprises.  Number two was green. Sour apple.  As I bit into the third one, the girls squealed. “That one is either licorice or skunk spray!”

I flinched as the flavor assaulted my tongue before it focused on my central nervous system. 

I gagged, and rolled my eyes into the back of my head. I shook and feigned a seizure. The girls laughed and squealed. All in good fun. 

I’ll say this: Whoever formulated that flavor did their research. Nasty stuff.  

Captain Mike and I stood to get a bite of lunch and I dug into my flight kit. I pulled out two pair of the plastic airline pilot wings that the American carriers haven’t given away in 10 years.”Thanks for the jellybeans, and I wish I had some candy I could trade with you - but all I have is these. Y’all want ‘em?”Their eyes widened. “COOL!” I walked back from lunch just as the girls left with their aunt. One of them saw me walking past and hollered, “There he is.. he ate the skunk spray jelly bean!” 

This entry was posted on Monday, July 14th, 2008 @ 6:25 am on the category Living the Dream. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.